Saturday, May 30, 2009

Who needs a birth announcment, when you have nosey neighbors?


Emerging from a post partum fog, 8 weeks out, some memories are starting to emerge as particularly funny. For example, the way some of my "public" came to find out that we had given birth.

Our next door neighbors/landlords are a couple in their 70s. They are very sweet and were quite excited about our pregnancy. When they noticed our car gone all day, one day in early April, they decided we were at the hospital (we were) and they called in (there are only 2 hospitals in town) to confirm that I was in labor/delivery. How the hospital is legally allowed to confirm that over the phone to a random caller, I do not know.

Once they figured out we were at the hospital, on April 1st, they were barely able to wait to come see us. And I do mean barely. Declan & Finn were born at 12:11 and 12:12 am on April 2nd. At 10:05 am that same day, I was groggy and still waking up in the hospital, when the nurse escorted our landlords in to my room. I know it was 10:05 am because visiting hours started at 10 am and they had to wait. Apparently they wanted to come see us at 7:30 am, when they woke up, but were barred.

When they walked in, I was certainly surprised to see them, but could not have been distracted from the fact that I had two healthy babies. I even had a joke for them: "I know, I know, we owe you the rent as of April 1st. But we're a little distracted, as you can see. You know we're good for it." They didn't even hear me, too busy cooing over the babies.

It gets even better, though. One day, a few weeks post partum, we were walking down the street and encountered one of our neighbors, who we know only from walking her dog. I know her first name and her dog's name, and that she's friendly and nice, but that's about it. She told us that she was so excited when her phone rang and the caller ID came up with that of our landlords. She told herself, "We have babies!" Apparently our landlords had started a phone tree to announce the birth, and Mimi was the neighborhood contact. Mimi told us that she then called "Susie, Mitzy, Meredith, Rick, . . . " Who are these people? I asked. Apparently, they are all the neighbors who we do not know, and who I cannot believe would be that interested in getting a phone call to announce the birth of our children.

Apparently our next door neighbor did not get the memo about the birth, because she came over to our front porch one day, a few weeks after the babies were born, to see if we had gotten a cat (or two). She heard the babies through the window, and they certainly make a feline cacophony sometimes. I guess my winter coats, coupled with the fact that I went to work and wore high heels up until the end, had fooled her.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Women=Interested in babies; Men=not so much


Despite being mostly-housebound, blogging has not been on my radar lately. Also, I'm even more boring than usual, so there's not a bunch to write about. That said, the few times I do get out with the boys, I tend to hear the same things. The funny thing is that now I'm able to predict what people are going to say, depending on their gender. It goes like this:

Women:
"Do you have a baby in there?" (we use these cool, stealthy slings to carry them sometimes)
"How old are they?"
"Are they identical?"
"Do twins run in your family?"
"How is the breastfeeding going?"
"You look fabulous."
"What are their names?"
"Did you have a c-section?"
"Which hospital were you at?"
"Who was your doctor?"
"How much did they weigh?"
"What do they weigh now?"
"When are you going back to work?"
"Do you have family around to help?"
"Can you tell them apart?"
"How do you tell them apart?"
"They are beautiful."

Men:
"Wow. Uhm, congratulations(?)"

How to make your ride look REALLY stoopid


I couldn't help but notice this faux bullet hole in a car the other day. Now, what kind of moron thinks it's cool to have a bullet hole in his SUV? The scary thing was that this was a relatively nice car.

I wanted to tell the driver that, if he wants a bullet-riddled car, he should just move to LA, since this happened to a friend of mine last year (yes, she was quite upset about it, especially as it happened right outside her condo).